Facebook asked me “What’s on your mind? ” … dare I answer?

“What’s On your mind?” 

We see this question every day, posed to us by Facebook.  An innocent question, and perhaps a bit open ended.

The short answer to this question would be “LOTS”.  Ahhh, but we get too wrapped up in the cool factor of social media, and worrying more about how others might view your “personal drama” to actually answer this question truthfully.  Social media has turned more into a barrage of duck-lipped selfies and cat worship ( of which, yes I am guilty of as well ) than actually networking and being social.   A lot of times, its about the laugh, a funny picture or sharing George Takei’s latest post, which is a good thing, laughter heals.

I have seen people bitch and moan, ( and yes, I have done this too, I am not excluding myself from this analysis ) about what people post to their own walls.  As if its any of their business.  When taken into context, they are simply answering a very basic question.

For me it was religion, and people trying to “save” the world.  This would drive me completely bonkers.   Having had some time to think about things, and perhaps think how it might look to them seeing all my posts to my wall regarding trans related issues, and LGBT related posts, WHO AM I TO SAY ANYTHING?

What seems like drama to others could be a 2 ton weight on the shoulders of another.

In fact, part of the reason I decided to start this blog, was so I could actually start answering that very question, without seeming the “drama queen”  or just constantly whining on Facebook.   There are going to be a lot of days ahead where things are not so easy, and not so perfect.  Note that Facebook still to this day does not have a “dislike” button, not all posts are GOOD or HAPPY news.   Perhaps I too have fallen prey to the mainstream thought that Facebook and social media in general is reserved for the cool stuff only.   Perhaps I don’t want to offend anyone with the details of my transition.  It could also be that I don’t want to be called out for doing more or less the same to others.

I think we ( as a whole, yes WE ) need to stop being critical of what others put on social media, if it was posted, it was important to someone enough in the first place.  I know I am going to stop being so critical, after all, these people are my friends right?

So… just for fun.

Here is “what’s on my mind”.

  • Waiting to hear from Dr. Raiche is driving me bonkers, I will most likely have to end up calling his office to confirm referral
  • After doing a half shift at work on light duty, I am wondering how long its going to take to get back to normal.
  • All the hoops I have to jump through regarding this accident are driving me insane, but I can’t talk about any of it… FRUSTRATING AS HELL
  • Hoping I can get onto HRT as quickly as possible, and get things moving for a change, I have had this “parked” for so long its ridiculous.
  • I am terrified at the huge step I am going to be taking in the near future, especially where work is concerned, and also about going full time as a trans-woman.  I want that more than anything, but honestly it scares the wits out of me at present.
  • I am starting to meet some of the most WONDERFUL and SUPPORTIVE people I have ever met, open minded, and caring,  for that I am very lucky, and very thankful for.

Its a short list, and I suppose I could go on.  It just helps me personally to re-enforce what I was mentioning earlier, these items are important to me at current.  When my friends post, its important to them, I should and will be less critical of what’s out there.

Just a little bit of self exploration, I guess, thought I would share it.

Peace and love!

– Tamara

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Back to the grindstone …

Not much really to post today.   Mostly things are at a halt, a sort of limbo while I wait to be contacted by Dr. Raiche.

Today I do go back to work for the first time in over 2 weeks.  I was in a car accident, can’t discuss it more than just to say that I was.  This having no money thing is getting sort of stale, and need to get back to making some.

Finally feeling good enough to get back to it, in a limited sense at least. 🙂

Looking forward to when things get back to normal, or well my personal flavour of normal anyway.  lol

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Peace and Love!

-Tamara