Below is the last thing I posted as John on Facebook, I then changed my profile pic to “Closed” and never went back.
I chose Facebook though, because I knew it was going to be a VERY repetitious process, telling the same story over and over and over. This way I could let my friends absorb it, then follow the link and come see me over here and ask whatever they wanted to. I made the necessary calls to mom and dad obviously. Thought it worth a share anyways.
Peace and Love,
Goodbye: Part 1 ( pending further need I suppose )
This could be lengthy… And include multiple links… so bear with me.
This is however going to be the last post made from this account … and from me as John.
First off … many of you are aware ( and some not, and that’s ok … surprise! ) of my crossdressing past …so this may not be as much of an issue or ‘shock so to speak’
It should be noted though right here and now though, what I do, I do for me… I am not trying to please anyone but myself. Not to sound rude or anything, but i have moved beyond the point of what people think of me… so no offense If you are offended yes I am sorry… but nothing changes.. I will still move forward.
Since I was 5 years old i knew there was something just not right with me… I always liked girly stuff .. wanted to dress like girls .. and was busted by mom and dad… on more than one occasion… This is something I hid for all my life… When I finally could express myself I joined a group in Calgary called the Illusions Social Club… specifically for C/D folks with no safe place. It was FANTASTIC … I had a place to be ME! and be free about things… with no judgement … no ridicule. It was awesome. It only lasted so long… as it was member funded… and wasn’t an official Organization or Society … so it ultimately folded.
That though is only 50% of the story. The remaining 50% that i have bottled up… is that crossdressing has actually been a front for something much deeper. And always HAS BEEN… I have known this ALL MY LIFE. The truth of the matter is I am NOT a crossdresser, just some guy who likes to wear dresses… I am in fact a woman who wears dresses because its the right thing to do but wasn’t born in the right body.
I am what is called Gender Identidy Dysphoric … Many like to use the term Gender Identity DISORDER … but I stray from that … I dont see it as a disorder … I see it as TRUTH. The truth of the matter is … I may have been BORN male… but inside … I was not… and never have been, There is NOTHING ever that will change that … except my own self acceptance…. And now here we are.
I have finally come to terms with ME.
So what does this mean? Do I want to be a woman? Technically NO… I have always inside identified as female. What I want it the exterior to catch the hell up. Does it change me? God no… I am still me…. I still love my computers, my PS3 gaming… chatting on facebook with friends… firepitting and so on.. I am still me.
But the ME you got to know has been probably the very best acting this world has ever seen… It wasn’t me. Not the me I want to be, the ME I AM.
Please watch this… Its a US Marine who has almost the IDENTICAL story to my own:
This is not to hurt anyone..
This is not to offend anyone…
I HAVE TO BE ME.
I have chosen a new name…
Tamara Jean Wallace..
I have a facebook account in that name…
An welcome anyone that wishes to continue to know me or associate with me.
What I face is not going to be easy … not even in the slightest. I have MUCH to do.
Those who wish to please friend me, Tamara, and if you have anything to ask… or just want to chat… I welcome it
BUT I AM DONE FUCKING HIDING.
I love you ALL.
And I am done HATING MYSELF …just for being ME